I Wonder …

Some random thoughts, musings and diatribes.

I wonder … who the first person to look at a cow and think, “Yup, I’m going to drink that thing’s milk,” was. I get that back in the day, times were probably pretty lonely, but it would take some guts to do this. Then after the discovery, imagine the conversation that had to take place when he (Yeah, this was definitely a guy) introduced it to the community:

“Guys, I discovered that we can drink cow’s milk!”
“Wow, that’s great. Say … how’d you figure that out?”
“Uh … what’s that? I can’t hear you. You’re breaking up.”
“Dude, I’m standing right in front of you. This isn’t a phone call. The phone won’t be invented for like 2,000 more years.”
“Beers? No, I said milk! This is a terrible connection. I’ll call you back tomorrow.”

I wonder … when did “your hair is so long!” become a compliment? Ladies, this is all you. I don’t get it, you were able to go a period of time without sitting in a chair and paying someone to take scissors to your hair. Congrats? If that’s praise-worthy, then I want some kudos for being able to breathe whilst (hey Mander) sleeping.

I wonder … why don’t more people say “whilst”? It’s a great word!

I wonder … if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, why do we care? Chances are it was in a desolated setting, unless the person who was around to hear it ended up crushed by it, in which case, whether or not he heard it is kind of inconsequential.

I wonder … do they need to relax the minimum height requirements at Asian amusement parks? If not, that must be awesome for non-Asians. Look ma, no lines! I’m going on the Ramen Rocket again!